Hey! I just wanted to do a post about some crazy stories from my past. I have accumulated 32 years of crazy times.
Here are some highlights I can currently recall…
Back when I was in school for massage therapy, one morning when I woke up I let the dogs out while I made breakfast for them and coffee for myself. While doing this I heard a commotion on the back porch… I looked to see them barking and running around and torturing, what I thought was my cat.
I went outside and was within a foot of picking up my “cat”, only to suddenly wake up enough to realize it was a raccoon!
Instead of picking up the raccoon (I would NOT advise that course of action), I pinned it behind the glass door and proceeded to try to drag the dogs inside. This was definitely an interesting was to wake yourself up at 6:30am.
Another time in school… Late one night my dogs got themselves sprayed by a skunk. (Dogs never learn from this experience.) So of course they ran through the house smelling TERRIBLE… One by one they got a bath. And then I was allowed to go to bed.
The next day I went to school… A number of my classmates mentioned they smelled “skunk”. I told them my dogs got sprayed last night, but I was good! Later throughout the day, I grabbed something from my tiny Roots purse and noticed it smelled like skunk! Apparently it had absorbed some of stink into the leather… *face palm*
Just a few weeks ago, during a Covid-19 cleaning day while in isolation, my mom found an online “recipe” for silver polish. She had a few items she wanted to make sparkly. She followed the recipe… It required vinegar and baking soda as the main ingredients. When it was time to put the vinegar in with the baking soda, she just DUMPED it in. A foamy volcano ensued all over the kitchen counter (not the sink). It flowed off the counter and down the cabinets and all over the floor. It all happened faster than I could say “no, stop!” Apparently she missed the day in school where you learn about what happens when you mix baking soda and vinegar… oops!
I’m just a lazy cat that loves her box
Do you ever lose your cat? I do! Back in high school (I think it was), I called a friend because I couldn’t find my cat and thought he had gotten outside. I was crying, hysterical and super concerned. Normally he was pretty good at coming when called, but for whatever reason that day he didn’t. My friend & I searched for a good hour in the bush behind my house and could not find him. When we finally decided to take a break, we went to my house and guess who was sitting at the back door? INSIDE THE HOUSE! Cats can be cruel…
Another lost cat story… my current cat, Bellatrix, was meowing like crazy for a good day or two. We pulled up grates, vents, called from the basement, the ground floor… EVERYWHERE! It literally sounded like the cat was in the floor of the kitchen. Finally we had decided somehow she had got into the furnace heating unit.
We had to call our heating company to come help. A bill that says “cat extraction” is a very strange thing to see…
To this day, we still have no idea how she got in there, but she hasn’t done it since, thank god!
I am also really great at breaking things… I worked at a golf course local to London for a good number of years. The number of things I broke there is quite the list to be ashamed of. My top 3 “oops” moments are:
- One time I was on the beer cart, I went out for my last round before the end of my shift and cruising along when I hit a bump and then the cart just wouldn’t go anymore! Something broke or fell off, I’m not sure… I had to get pushed back into the shop for them to fix. Since I was now done my shift, I simply said, “see ya, I’m out!”
- One night we had a banquet occurring, I was carrying a knife to go cut up some veggies and my boss came around the corner and we almost crashed into each other. I kind of poked him with the pointy end a bit…. shit! It wasn’t bad, I don’t even know if a drop of blood was spilled…. But to this day I am the crazy girl who “stabbed her boss with a knife”…
- One day I was restocking and refilling the clubhouse… I went to fill up the ketchup (which came in this giant bag in cardboard box), and we had a few jars we would store it in from there. Well, my aim was off that day and rather than in the jars, it went ALL OVER the kitchen counter. That was not fun to clean up… My co-workers and some members had a great laugh though!
The disaster I made…
That’s all for now!
xoxo, Amy
